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Ghostwriting & Septic Tanks:

A Thanksgiving Story

November 28, 2024

What, you may ask, do septic tanks have to do with ghostwriting? And why would a ghostwriter compare his occupation to...well...you know.   

In other words, what's a nice artistic endeavor like that doing in a place like this? 

Allow me to explain...

Years ago I rented a house in very nice neighborhood for an even nicer price - free! Well, not free, exactly. I was expected to take good care of the property for a few months until the owner returned from abroad to place the house on the market for sale. 

I readily agreed, and since the house seemed well maintained and was situated in pleasant surroundings, I anticipated few if any complications. 

Boy, was I wrong. 

On my first Thanksgiving there, I invited a houseful of people over and the kitchen sink promptly exploded after the cook tried to force turkey grease down the drain via the garbage disposal. We called a plumber, who arrived and quickly told us that there was nothing he could do.

"You can't clear the sewer line?" I asked.

He shook his head. "There's no sewer line to clear," he replied. "You're on a septic system." 

Meaning that, in the immortal words of Cousin Eddie in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, "shitter's full!" 

And so it was. 

We "made do" and got through dinner with no further incident, and the following day, a company whose sole purpose was to get rid of everything we had accumulated did its work.  There was never another problem with the kitchen sink until there was, at which point the process was repeated, although, "thankfully", not on Thanksgiving. 

So what does all this have to do with ghostwriting?  

Well, if you've been trying to write a book or a screenplay but things just aren't flowing like they should, you may need someone to wade through all the shit and get things moving again. 

That's where we come in - The Best Ghostwriters can help you with that story that's been building up and put it right where it belongs - on the page.

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Call 1-323-539-7635 or email for a free consultation today.